How To Be The Teeniest Bit Subversive On Valentine’s Day

By Group February 13, 2020

Are you one of those people who is weirded out by Valentine’s Day? As a kid it was getting all the kids in class a cute little card and lollipop. Now it’s having to get your “special someone” a special something, or else…


Maybe you’re single and the day makes you feel lonely. Maybe you’re not single but feel that having a holiday to celebrate romance feels like a charade, an obligation. The bad news is: Valentine’s Day, the holiday celebrating heteronormative monogamy, isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, it seems. The good news is, there’s plenty of opportunities to queer up Valentine’s Day, even for those of you who aren’t queer.


Do communal things.

Valentine’s day is about traditional couples: groups of two people who are in love or smitten or whatever you want to call it. But it’s generally about celebrating the love of two people. So this Valentine’s Day, you’re challenge is to celebrate as a group. Coordinate a dinner or happy hour with a bunch of friends, visit your family.


Go out to eat SOLO.

Nothing says f*** you to Valentine’s Day like going out to dinner alone and owning it.

There’s nothing wrong with being independent and having a good time with yourself, and Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to subvert those expectations. If you need company, bring a book or phone, but remember there’s always great people watching to be had!


Don’t buy anything! And if you do, support marginalized artists.

If you want to hit Valentine’s Day in the achilles tendon, close up that wallet of yours. If you must buy someone a gift, try to keep it local, but most importantly, try to support artists who are queer, women, people of color, etc.

Spread the love…aka the money!


If you’re in a relationship, review some consent materials. Review your dos and dont’s and maybes. Maybe try something new 🙂

Part of shedding the old heteronormative ways is practicing enthusiastic consent with partners. If you have a partner this February 14th, it’s a great day to go over the basics of consent.


The holiday celebrating romantic love is the perfect day to talk about about sex and turn-ons. Even if you’ve been with your honey for 10 years, go over your sexual dos, don’ts, maybes, and somedays together. Trust, talking about sex will get you so steamed up, you may try one of your fantasies.


Make a kind, thoughtful gesture…to someone you’re not romantically into.

Help out a parent or sibling, make a beautiful card for a best friend. Give your aunt a call and don’t rush off the phone. If you’re feeling rather Amélie, do something kind for a complete stranger.


Just take a moment. Do something thoughtful for another human being, and not because you’re romantically interested in them, but simply because you care.




Stay sexy and sex-positive XOXO