Two Halves Don’t Make a Whole – Unscripted Relationships
The traditional script we’re given about relationships is that in order to be complete we need to find our better half. In my experience, two halves don’t exactly make a whole, especially when it comes to people. Two people who identify as being incomplete become dependent on one another in a way that hinders their development into wholeness. When I subscribed to this belief that my better half was “out there” to complete me, I found that I was emotionally draining in my relationships because I was incapable of giving because I was so focused on getting a need met externally.
Be whole. When I say whole, I mean capable of knowing your own bandwidth for giving to others without having to prioritize your need of something from them. I find there’s a mindset shift that comes with the identification of being whole. You become a better at selecting who you give your energy to. In doing this, you foster healthy relationships.
Episode 82 of Something Positive for Positive People features Dr. Stephanie K. Webb from Unscripted Relationships. It was through taking her course that I learned to understand that the traditional scripts of relationships really don’t resonate with me. I realized I needed something different. That something didn’t have language when I was looking for it and I didn’t have access to the words. The relationship I sought out isn’t one that we readily have a script for. The kind of relationships I value are ones that foster growth. I learned through Dr. Webb’s course that I, too learn best and grow from relationships with people.
Her introduction to relationships course introduces people to open relationships and you can find that here at www.unscriptedrelationships.com. A major point to understand with realizing your own wholeness is that rather than seeking to be taken care of, you have to take care of yourself. It’s important to ask those challenging questions. Do I take care of myself? How do I take care of myself? Do I take care of my needs I can take care of alone or do I immediately look to outsource having my own emotional needs met? What can I do and what can I communicate with partners in order to set the standards for having those other needs met?
Without giving too much away, this introductory course was hands on, instructional, and made me feel very good about where my partner and I are in our own relationship, having to navigate its unscriptedness ourselves. Check in with yourself and ask yourself how you’re communicating expectations in your relationships with partners? It’s an amazing feeling to be in your wholeness and choose to share aspects of that wholeness with partners. That’s a beautiful space to be in and I wish this for everyone, regardless of the relationships style you choose.
I encourage you to consider checking out this podcast episode of SPFPP and look to challenge your idea of a relationship and begin to define it yourself. We all can have so many different ideas of what relationships look like based on what we assume everyone agrees upon, but we really just need to understand the importance of language and just use our words in these Unscripted Relationships. See what I did there? 😉
Stay sex positive!
Courtney W. Brame is the Founder of Something Positive for Positive People, a hub of sex-positive resources.
More about SPPP’s latest guest, Dr. Webb.