Thought-Provoking Posts from @sexpositive_families

By Dating.com Group December 12, 2019

Thought-provoking posts on many sex positive topics.

 

Thanks, @sexpositive_families for providing great insights, and creating a space for discussion!

 

 

 

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If you’re teaching about bodies, consent, relationships, sexuality, pleasure, menstruation, sexual health or sex and you are limiting your language and scope to “boys and girls,” “men and women,” “gay or straight,” “monogamy or infidelity,” “penises and vaginas”— it’s time to check your knowledge and internal biases because the spectrum of gender, sexual identity, bodies, relationships and pleasure is VAST (and beautiful!). It is all far less limiting than you may have been raised to believe. . Perpetuating the binary, now that you know better, is harmful erasure. It’s time to catch up because, trust me, the young people of today are paving a more liberating future and you won’t want to get left behind.

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For a young person to have the skills to make informed choices about their body, relationships and sex, they must have access to accurate information and shame-free support. They have to be acknowledged as autonomous human beings. Their sexuality has to be viewed accurately as something that has existed since their conception, instead of being viewed as a rite of passage. . The messages about sexual decision making, bodies and consent cannot be different based on the child’s gender. Telling a young girl “you can’t have a boyfriend until you’re 35!” while giving a teen boy a talk about “wrapping it up,” are behaviors that get one gender accustomed to their body being policed while inviting another gender to feel entitled to own their and others’ bodies. Not to mention the heteronormative, binary assumptions that erase the identities and experiences of LGBTQ+ youth. . Being a mentor and ally for a young person means taking ego out of it. Parents/caregivers- This ain’t about you! Their “successes” or “missteps” are not for your resumé! Let that sink in. . Being a mentor and ally for a young person means showing up for them without projecting shame, no matter their decisions or outcomes along the path. We focus on preparing not scaring them. We can be the adult we needed. . The litmus test for whether you are a mentor versus gatekeeper is how often, if at all, a young person comes to you with sexual health curiosities or openly shares their experiences with you. If the answer is- "never" or "they used to when they were younger" or "they shut down when I bring things up," let this serve as a wake up call. If they aren't coming to you, trust me when I tell you, they ARE curious and they're going somewhere else for their answers- porn, peers, untrustworthy sources or learning thru risky experimentation. . Our young people, and the direction of society's future, deserve better. . At any moment you can shift the dynamic. You can open the doors to become a trusted adult, a safe space and a mentor in their life. Unpack your biases, seek sfor your traumas, stay connected to sexual health resources and START THE TALKS. Trust me, they need you.

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