This Gender Queer Model’s DMs Are A Form of Activism

By Emily Lowinger December 20, 2019
Photo from @raindovemodel

 

Model and actor Rain Dove posts DMs they receive.

 

Some tug on the heart strings…

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When this happened about a year ago I was overwhelmed with joy as well as well as anxiety. I didn’t know what to say to him. So many influencers just say “Be You! Screw what they think!” Or “Live Your Truth! Be fabulous” But these sentiments are privileged statements that often feel like taunts to those who can not do so without repercussions. Growing up I felt my environment was like this- a place where I couldn’t explore safely because of religious ideologies. We should all be granted safety no matter our identities but often it’s unobtainable. You are NOT weak or betraying Your truth if You prioritize safety. The most important thing is that You live. If You have the capacity to operate with compassion and care it is often worth the emotional labor. It also has lasting effects! Acting with consideration is not morally superior to any other form of communication nor is it guaranteed positive results. There’s also a difference between giving compassion and giving permission. Compassion doesn’t mean that it’s ok for the person You are talking to to be Abusive towards You in any form. You can have boundaries and love at the same time- in fact You must have both for trust to thrive. If You have other tips for people who are in that space of wanting to “come out”/ “share their identity with their parent what would You suggest? #Proud #lgbtq #grsm #genderqueer #genderfluid #trans #transisbeautiful #holidaymagic #lovewins #bestoftheday

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Others are quite troubling.

 

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It will take many forms of activism to make progress on this planet. Righteous Rage is valid. Daring Diplomacy is valid. Self Care is valid. Taking to the streets is valid. Taking to Twitter is valid. Taking to our own truths internally is valid. Whatever I post I know people will find a way to hate it. If I engage positively then I’m Virtue Signalling. If engage bluntly then I am bullying. If I don’t engage I am being weak. If I speak to them at all I’m pandering. If I don’t speak I’m hiding. If I share the posts I’m showing off. If I don’t show the posts then I’m not “doing enough work” and am a liar. Any angle will bring criticism. That’s why when we do work in the community we must do it because it feels right in our own hearts. Do it because You truly want a solution- not because You want approval. When I share these types of posts I do it to show that this communication style can work. That it’s beneficial to assess our attackers first as people vs as enemies. That volatile reactions should be a resort only taken after careful consideration. However, let me be clear- this in no way means that this type of language used towards me in this post is OK. It is dangerous. Violent. And towards certain people can contribute towards enticing self harm or emotional trauma. I don’t condone it- I only communicate through it because at the end of the day it’s about getting people to drop their knives and therefor I must drop my emotional ego that says “Fuck that person!”. This is MY form of activism. However if You feel that You can not engage on this level then You are NOT less of a person. You are not weaker. Less graceful. Less intelligent. If you react with rage that is not necessarily the wrong response because it is your truth. We all have our own ways of weaving through this existence. As long as we work our threads to the same ultimate goal of comprehension and unity then we are all still one team. Ps I posted with persons name because the end result was positive and many of their comments were public in my page. In order to avoid unraveling the progress made- please don’t troll them. #EducateDontHate #lgbtq #grsm #genderqueer #howtohandlehaters #lovewins

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One of Rain’s exchanges went viral recently, a testament to how you can reach people where they really are through kindness. Here it is below.

 

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Parents I promise that a professional binder is a safer option for your teen than alternatives they might be using. Getting them one as a gift can be life saving. A great brand and resource is @gc2b they even recently gave me a whole box to donate when in SA. Amazing conscientious and involved company. Binding ones chest can be a dangerous thing- especially when using alternative options like I used to do. Ace bandage and ducttape lead to skin tearing, fractured ribs and I even passed out once after taking off the binding from the oxygen rushing into my system again. I have models I’ve worked with who will testify times in which they saw my body distorted after inappropriate binding practices. People bind for many reasons. It’s not always identity or dysphoria related. Especially people with larger breasts have expressed binding has been lifesaving in functional terms. Binding CAN be lifesaving and ease much anxiety. I must note that it alone won’t make someone feel complete in their existence. We must work to dismantle toxic oppressions that lead to social oppressions and anxieties. We must create a space of love for all people to live in no matter their bodies. We must create a safe space for dialogue. #LoveWins #noteasybutworthit #nonbinary #memes #educatedonthate #binding #lgbtq #genderfluid #trans #lovewins #grsm NOTE: Sammys parent gave me permission to post this convo! Always important to make sure You have permission! The photo is not their real face.

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Thank you for putting this all out there!

 

Stay sex positive everyone!

 

Happy Friday!