How Primarily Masc vs Primarily Femme Identifying Folx Seek Support After A Herpes Diagnosis

By Courtney Brame July 15, 2019

Of 105 podcasts talking about STIs, there are 5 total men who talk about their herpes experience. 


They open up about disclosing, not disclosing, and I notice across the board that if there isn’t a denial stage, then the actions taken tend to be the seeking of quantitative information such as stats, transmission rates, risk reducing measures, chances for outbreaks… whereas the qualitative info is sought out by primarily feminine identifying people usually looks like emotional support, community, encouragement they’ll find love, and knowing they are not alone.


This is consistent with the people who privately message me and who’ve been on the Something Positive for Positive People Podcast (listen on any podcast player or find it through a google search).


I talk more about this on Episode 90: Vulnerability is a Boundary Dropper with my guest John who shares the primarily masculine identifying experience after his genital HSV1 diagnosis. 



Another interesting thing that came up is how easy it is for people to completely open up to a stranger about herpes and other deeply intimate details about their lives that they’d never share with a best friend, or trusted person they’ve known for YEARS. The common adversity with stigma of a herpes diagnosis opens us up more to a new connection than to deepening a relationship with old friends. We touch on this but I’ll cover it more in an upcoming episode.


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Stay Sex Positive!


Courtney W. Brame is the Founder of Something Positive for Positive People, a hub of sex-positive resources. 
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Courtney Brame is on social media @HOnMyChest