Dating Apps: 4 Ways To Tell Whether Or Not You Should Meet IRL
We spoke to a bunch of people who are in their 20s and on dating apps to see how they make the decision to take things from the screen to the flesh!
So…how do you know if you should meet IRL?
“As soon as possible,” says Cassie, 29, from Minneapolis.
“I feel like I know really quickly whether someone has the right vibe. A lot of it is reading between the lines. Do they seem like someone who could make me laugh, who has a sort of enthusiasm about life? Once I’ve noted those things, I’m down to meet. I have so little time, I don’t want to be meeting someone I’ll never click with. And I don’t want to chat on an app for more than a couple of days.”
“When we’re horny enough,” says Dan, 25, from Cherry Hill, NJ.
“I make it clear on my profiles that I’m interested in one-night stands or friends with benefits only. So if I match with someone and they’re on the same page and we get to sexting, I’m down to meet up and see if the sparks fly in person.”
“When we’ve established a good texting rapport…and once I’ve scoured their socials,” says Tina, 27, from Portland, Oregon.
“I’ve had too many instances where a guy ends up having a wife and kids and I only find out after we’ve had an awesome date. Now, I’m way more selective about my process and who I will meet. I get a full name so I can look on socials and check them out prior to committing to a date. I also only meet up with people who are fun to text with, too, because ultimately I’m looking for a partner and for me, if they’re willing to be engaged and attentive before we even meet, that’s a good sign.”
“Once sexpectations and boundaries have already been established,” says Jamie, 24, a Phoenix resident and grad student.
“I have very specific sexual tastes, and even though I’m looking for something longterm, sex is important. So I like to get that stuff out there before even meeting. I find it easier to communicate those kinds of things over an app than in person. I have boundaries and things I’ll probably never be OK with doing in bed, and I like getting that out there in advance too. ‘Cus that reveals two things: a) that we’re compatible or we’re not…and maybe that’s ok that we’re not, but I like to know in advance, and b) that the person I’m talking to is down to have this important conversation and invest time in discussing consent, our preferences, and our traumas before getting into a date scenario.”
How do you know when it’s time to meet IRL?
Send us your dating stories at firstname.lastname@example.org